Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Randomize
