Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
