And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
