Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
