I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
