She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
