Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
