I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
