census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
