did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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