Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
