there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
