I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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