If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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