I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
