I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
