I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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