I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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