Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
