Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
