So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
