no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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