HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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