In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
