Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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