You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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