fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
