thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
