HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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