Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
