His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
