I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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