I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize