paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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