I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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