names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
