well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
