Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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