they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
