Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
