It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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