Acid is not a monday night drug
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
