just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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