You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
