I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
