Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
