he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
