Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize