I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
