how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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