I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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