I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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