So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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