Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
