i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize