i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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