sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
