you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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