Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
