There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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