well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize