Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
