Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
