I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
