i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
