you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
