Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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