I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
