"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
