doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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