meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
