i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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