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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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