you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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