Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
