ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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