It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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