she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
