but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
