you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
